Cara Eckhardt, PhD is my BFF. In part 2 of my conversation with her, Cara and I talk about our own 20-year friendship, how we have stayed close after so many years, the impact that celebrating each other's lives has helped us strengthen our connection, how adults form friendships generally, and how to not lose yourself after becoming a parent. There is also talk Flamenco singing, Sesame Street and Disney villains, my awful experience on the placebo in an allergy medicine RCT, and our epi-style Fyre Fest.
The audio clips of Cara singing flamenco include fast-paced Tanguillos (a classic form of flamenco from Cadiz, Spain), slow and lovely Guajiras (an example of “ida y vuelta” flamenco showing a style that flowed to Cuba and came back to Spain with Cuban influences), as well as a cover of the song, “Naita,” a modern pop song with Flamenco influences about social disparities by the Spanish group, Ojos de Brujos.
Cara Eckhardt, PhD is my BFF. In part 2 of my conversation with her, Cara and I talk about our own 20-year friendship, how we have stayed close after so many years, the impact that celebrating each other's lives has helped us strengthen our connection, how adults form friendships generally, and how to not lose yourself after becoming a parent. There is also talk Flamenco singing, Sesame Street and Disney villains, my awful experience on the placebo in an allergy medicine RCT, and our epi-style Fyre Fest.
The audio clips of Cara singing flamenco include fast-paced Tanguillos (a classic form of flamenco from Cadiz, Spain), slow and lovely Guajiras (an example of “ida y vuelta” flamenco showing a style that flowed to Cuba and came back to Spain with Cuban influences), as well as a cover of the song, “Naita,” a modern pop song with Flamenco influences about social disparities by the Spanish group, Ojos de Brujos.
Lisa Bodnar:
Was I the one that suggested this?
Cara Eckhardt:
I don't remember.
Lisa Bodnar:
I think you did.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. So we've got our lime. We have our salt, and we lick, drink, suck.
Lisa Bodnar:
All right. I'm going to hate myself later.
Cara Eckhardt:
I know, me too, but it's going to be worth it. Okay.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. Here we go. Lick.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. Oh. Boy. Oh, God, really?
Lisa Bodnar:
Hi friends. Welcome back to Shiny Epi People, the show that seeks to give you 30 minutes of joy and connection in a world where things are seemingly going to shit. I'm Lisa Bodnar and I'm happy that you're here. As always, you can find the show on Instagram and Twitter @ShinyEpiPeople. If you would like to offer any financial support for the show, we're at Patreon, at Patreon.com/ShinyEpiPeople. Thank you to the very sweet new patrons from last week. If you can't become a patron or you don't want to, who cares. Keep listening. Share the show with your friends.
Lisa Bodnar:
So today's show is a little bit different. Back when I interviewed Yanica Faustin, you'll remember her episode came out a couple of weeks back. Off air she told me that she listened to the episode I recorded with my nine-year-old, Layla. She said that the recording was a way for me to leave behind a legacy of our relationship. Honestly, I'd never thought about it that way, of a podcast preserving a part of our story as mother and daughter, and it really stuck with me.
Lisa Bodnar:
You may remember the episode I released with my best friend, Cara Eckhardt, on Thanksgiving Day., Episode 18. In the traditional form of my show, we discussed a career-related topic and did some funny stuff, too. But for today's episode, I kept in mind the idea that Yanica raised, sharing the story of my friendship with Cara as a way of archiving it. Then I realized that it's like StoryCorps. You know how you hear StoryCorps on NPR on Fridays? Those recordings between two people where they talk very intimately about something in their shared experience, and it almost always makes me cry? Those stories from StoryCorps are archived in the National Library of Congress in Washington DC.
Lisa Bodnar:
My conversation with Cara today is kind of like our own 30-minute StoryCorps. We don't talk about work or anything about careers. We talk about our 20-year friendship. How we maintained it being on different coasts of the US, what bonds us together. We talk about our commitment to celebrating one another's lives and reminding ourselves to honor who we are as women, beyond our other roles. If you wanted to hear an episode about career-related stuff, this is not the one for you, and that's okay. In fact, you may view today's episode as a bit self-indulgent because we basically talk about ourselves the whole time. But preserving our friendship was important to me.
Lisa Bodnar:
Also, the music that you'll hear today is actually Cara singing. She talks in the episode about how singing flamenco has been one of the most important parts of her life, particularly as she's become a mom and learning how to find her own joy outside of her kids and her job. Then at the end of the episode, I close with Cara singing Lean on Me at the SER 50th anniversary party. So I hope you enjoy this chat.
Cara Eckhardt:
(singing).
Lisa Bodnar:
Here we are in part two.
Cara Eckhardt:
Part two, the sequel.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's right. Bigger, badder, louder.
Lisa Bodnar:
More laughy and slightly drunk.
Cara Eckhardt:
Boozier.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah. Something that I wanted to talk about is that we've been able to maintain a long distance bi-coastal friendship.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes. For many years.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
We have totally maintained it to the point where I know and you know what is happening all the time with each other. It's absolutely 100% current. There's no, "Let's call Lisa and catch up." There's no catching up.
Lisa Bodnar:
Right. No.
Cara Eckhardt:
It's like, I'm caught up.
Lisa Bodnar:
You're on the West coast. I'm on the East coast.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
There's this time difference, which it can be incredibly challenging.
Cara Eckhardt:
We just make time for each other. If you have time to freaking pee, you have time to maintain a friendship, because I will call you-
Lisa Bodnar:
When you're peeing.
Cara Eckhardt:
That is 100% sure.
Lisa Bodnar:
I am peeing, I have two minutes.
Cara Eckhardt:
I am peeing, I have two minutes. How many conversations that we have start out like this? "I have seven minutes. I'm on my way to pick up Maya from school." Or I call you and you're like, "I have three minutes. Cole's at soccer practice and blah, blah, blah," And we just take it and run with it.
Lisa Bodnar:
Or like, "I'm in the closet. No one knows I'm here."
Cara Eckhardt:
We're really good at reading each other. Actually, I have a funny example of that. Do you remember years ago when we played Pictionary? Me, you and Jill, another very close friends of ours. We're on the same team and you remember how in Pictionary you get to keep going? If you are able to guess each other's?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
So we started first. We were playing against other people, and then we just won and we thought people-
Lisa Bodnar:
We never stopped.
Cara Eckhardt:
Because you would draw one half of a scraggly line and I'd be like that, "The Wizard of Oz." And you're like, "Yes, exactly." Or whatever. And everyone was like, "How are you doing that?"
Lisa Bodnar:
I feel like when you call or I call and you're like, "I have three minutes," you can kind of just tell who needs that three minutes. You're like, "I need to vent about something," or, "This crazy funny thing just happened to me," and you just dive right into it. Then you're like, "Maya's getting in the car. Bye." "Bye." And that's it.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
But because we're so current, we don't need to contextualize it or anything.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. I think that it's because we both make it a priority, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. In general today, I wanted to talk about strong friendships and how important they are.
Cara Eckhardt:
So important.
Lisa Bodnar:
Our friendship is a critical part of-
Cara Eckhardt:
Survival.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah. I think the only way that we could do this, and anyone I think can do it, is by making friendship a priority.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. At the end of the day, right? What else do we have except for the people... I think that's more apparent than ever this year in COVID and everything where all of our other stimuli and distractions have been removed. I am so grateful for our friendship, as I always am, because I don't need to go anywhere or see anything if I've got Lisa B. on the phone. We can just laugh and talk about nothing for an hour and we'll feel amazing at the end of it.
Lisa Bodnar:
One of the things that really bonds us together is celebrating each other's lives. I just don't feel like in life there's enough celebrating period.
Cara Eckhardt:
I agree 100% and I feel like that's such a theme of our friendship. There's a lot of grown-up celebrations that, to me, aren't celebrations. They're just kind of like, cheers. Let's have a glass of wine and here's a card. We-
Lisa Bodnar:
We fucking celebrate.
Cara Eckhardt:
We celebrate. We are silly. We are goofy. We are loud. It's not just a celebration. It's a joyful release. I think little kids are really good at that and it's such a joy to be friends with someone who's 100% as excited as I am, any opportunity to celebrate and make it ridiculous.
Lisa Bodnar:
One of the things that I like so much about being friends with you is that I can be like, "I'm excited about X, Y, and Z." Then you bring up all of these absurd ideas that then I'm like, "Oh yeah. That's a great way to celebrate."
Cara Eckhardt:
Well, and there's just so many grown-ups out there who are a little bit no people, who will just be like, "Ooh, that seems..." I feel like we're totally yes people. You could just call me and be like, "I want to celebrate this," and I'd be like, "Okay, how about this?" Immediately. "Well, have you thought of this?"
Lisa Bodnar:
The example that I want to give is the party that you and Jill... So Jill Reedy is our other very close friend who did her PhD with us.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
You and Jill threw this amazing party for me. This came at a time in my life where I was separated, I was moving into my own home, and it was this new chapter in my life that was also very sad and there was a lot of grieving. You helped me do all of that grieving, too. It's not like we pushed that aside.
Cara Eckhardt:
No.
Lisa Bodnar:
Every ounce of joy that could've come from this party was. So you guys bought a Superwoman Barbie.
Cara Eckhardt:
No, it was a Wonder Woman Barbie.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wonder Woman. Okay, yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
We drew your tattoos on her. We did her hair. You had the pink in her hair, and we dyed her hair to look like you. We made her Wonder Woman Lisa Bodnar party. She sat a top celebratory cake.
Lisa Bodnar:
We invited 40 people.
Cara Eckhardt:
We put together this list of people. I had people sending me stuff about you, things that started with each letter of your whole name. We came up with this sweet and serious, and yet at the same time, like ridiculously silly and sometimes raunchy poem about you.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. It was certainly a bit of a roast.
Cara Eckhardt:
And it was a whole lot of love.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
We had a Polaroid camera and everyone had to take a picture of themselves with you and then write something that they appreciated about you or thoughts for this new stage of your life, so we could put it together in this whole keepsake thing for you. Then they got a special unicorn bracelet when they were done doing that.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
We had cocktails that we named after you. We had dancing, we had glow sticks.
Lisa Bodnar:
I made t-shirts, right?
Cara Eckhardt:
Oh that's right. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I ended up turning this into an entire "tour" where I did 11 cities throughout the US and Canada.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes. This is what I mean. It's like you show up with an idea and we're like, "Yes. Let's go bigger." That's always the response.
Lisa Bodnar:
I know. It was just so good to know that we can just turn this hard thing on its head and make it a wonderful expression of love.
Cara Eckhardt:
As we've lived our lives and we've moved apart, and we lived in different cities, and we have different jobs, and we... You're like, "No, I'm here for all that your life involves, because I just adore and love you." It doesn't matter if our interests or experiences diverge at some point and are not as similar as they were at another point. It doesn't matter anymore. That's how we met, but that's not what's keeping us together.
Lisa Bodnar:
I think one of the things that has really allowed us, like you were saying, to stay in touch and to stay close despite the fact that our life circumstances have changed, is the fact that each one of wants to grow personally and share in that with one another, and learn from one another.
Cara Eckhardt:
To the point where we're like, "We should probably pay double for your therapist," because all her personal growth and lessons learned get passed to me.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes. Totally.
Cara Eckhardt:
I don't know. We're just very fucking curious people about all the things. About what's going on in our own minds and the choices we make, and where we are in life. It's not scary when you've got your best friend holding your hand.
Lisa Bodnar:
It feels really good to be able to do that work with someone you trust.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. Someone you trust and someone who, no matter how painful that work is, and sometimes it is. Sometimes there's tears. I don't think we've ever ended a conversation in tears. I think we've always ended a conversation with love and probably laughing.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
No matter where we started it.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's right. A lot of people struggle to make friends as adults.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think one thing that's been really amazing is just finding something that you love and reaching for it and making sure that it's something that's honoring you outside of your other identities.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes. Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
You know?
Lisa Bodnar:
So yours is flamenco.
Cara Eckhardt:
Mine is flamenco. Yeah. Right? It's always been singing in some way. I've been in various choirs or choral groups or whatever. But really it's become flamenco, originally through my daughter who started taking flamenco lessons just falling in love with this art form after having been in Spain. Then just kind of running into it. It's so complicated and so hard. It's a form of art that's not written, it's passed down orally. It's got all kinds of different rhythms, it's in a different language. But it's super feisty and fiery and passionate and confident. It just called out to me. Because of that, I have met dancers and other artists and now I meet with them regularly, and I sing at shows and we practice together.
Cara Eckhardt:
But it doesn't have anything to do with my job, it doesn't have anything to do with my kids, it doesn't have anything to do with my husband. It really comes from this super organic Cara place that just is something that is just 100% my joy. You know? That doesn't change with my job were to change, or my kids get older, or anything else fell apart. It's mine. It lives in my heart.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. I think there's something that draws people to similar things. And so, despite the fact that these people I interact with with flamenco we're not all moms of kids the same age. We're not all epidemiologists or something. We're very varied, but we all feel called to this art form. Isn't that so refreshing to meet people and have them just not have preconceived notions about who you are, because of these other roles?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
That they just meet you and it helps you, I think, stay engaged with you. You're like, "Oh yeah, that is me." I am being reintroduced to me. I'm being reminded that I'm a person.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think that's really special. It's such a nice part about getting older. You're like, "This is who I am."
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
So my family says, "That's Cara. She's not always right, but always certain."
Lisa Bodnar:
That is so true.
Cara Eckhardt:
I am very certain. I want to say that I am able to see when I'm wrong at the end of the day.
Lisa Bodnar:
Sure. Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
But I don't know. Knowing yourself, you just kind of accept certain traits about yourself. Sometimes these things can get you into trouble, and sometimes they're strengths and you just understand. I've had some bad moments. You want to hear a really goofy one that happened with this?
Lisa Bodnar:
Sure.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. So my mom, she's all about genealogy. She's got family trees and things drawn on the wall. I grew up with all of these pictures of ancestors. So a couple of years ago, I'm walking down the street in Portland and this wacky antique store. I see this picture and I totally, somehow, I'm just convinced that this antique picture is people from our family. Immediately. I recognized them. I'm just sitting there outside the store and I'm like, "Those people have been on my wall. Those are our relatives. Where did they get this picture?" I remember I got so excited about it and I just bit onto that.
Cara Eckhardt:
I was 100% certain to the point where I came back the next day I asked about the picture. They're like, "That's just part of our display." I was like, "Those are my relatives. 100%." Anyways, I talked this woman into giving me this picture, mailed it to my mom. My mom's like, "Who the fuck are these people?" She's like, "Not everyone who's wearing a black dress and apron over it is your fucking relative, just because we have pictures on our wall that look vaguely like this."
Cara Eckhardt:
I'm a very certain person, but I also think it's a lot of confidence. It's gotten me far in life. I love to perform, I love to sing in public, I'm always sure it's going to work out fine. If someone tells me something isn't possible, I'm like, "I'm sure we can find a way around that."
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
For better or for worse. That's just who I am. This something... Oh, now I am going to get all weepy, but I'm trying not to.
Lisa Bodnar:
It's okay. You can weepy.
Cara Eckhardt:
This is just something I truly believe in. It's funny because I remember back when I was an undergraduate, I went to a talk with Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. The author. Right? But I just remember him saying, "In the US, or in Western culture, we're too fixated on this kind of fairy tale story where we meet somebody and they become a romantic partner to us, and that person is the love of your life." Then we end up needing everything from them because they become all of the things to us. Our best friends and our lover and all of these things. It's too much for one person to expect of one person.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think what I've accepted about that is there's just multiple loves of your life. Maybe you have a partner that serves that role for some time, who's a romantic partner or a lover. But I remember meeting my children. I remember them handing them to me in the hospital and thinking, "Oh my God, this is the love of my life." You know?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
But you are 100% a love of my life.
Lisa Bodnar:
You are a love of my life.
Cara Eckhardt:
You show up for that person and you believe in that person, and you champion that person, and you just embrace that whole person.
Lisa Bodnar:
Without that broader view of there are many loves of my life, if you end up not having a partner, which is what most people would view as the love of your life, that you are constantly seeking another one of those things. Because you're like, well, that's what the love of your life is supposed to be. It's supposed to be this romantic partner. You can get so much fulfillment out of life without limiting what you view as loves of your life.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. We have a very successful love story, no matter what anyone else, how society defines that, because we love each other and we're there for each other. I'm so grateful every single day of my life.
Lisa Bodnar:
Me too, Cara.
Cara Eckhardt:
(singing).
Cara Eckhardt:
If you had a one day break from the pandemic, what are the activities you would want to do?
Lisa Bodnar:
I would get up and go to brunch.
Cara Eckhardt:
I agree with just restauranting a lot. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I would have a dinner party, and then I would want to take everyone out for drinks at a bar. I'd want to get dressed up. I want to look nice and do my hair and wear something cute.
Cara Eckhardt:
What is that? I know. That seems beyond fantasy at this point. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I want to go dancing after.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
What would you do?
Cara Eckhardt:
I want to travel so badly, all I can do is think about that. I want to go on a food tour where you stop at a million restaurants and just eat. I want to touch things with my hands that other people have touched and then put them in my mouth and feel very good about that. I want to sing flamenco right next to a guitar player with all of my aerosolized droplets flying.
Lisa Bodnar:
Sing in his face.
Cara Eckhardt:
Just sing right in their face. Yeah. I want to sing into your mouth and eat cheeses that you've touched. Then I want to be in a close, sweaty, little, like flamenco place in Madrid where everybody's touching each other and they're shoulder to shoulder, just feeling it. You can see the sweat flying off of their foreheads when they do turns, and everyone... It's just passion and sherry and food and laughter.
Lisa Bodnar:
That sounds amazing.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes. I want to just be drowning in people.
Lisa Bodnar:
Cara, if you were a piece of candy, what kind would you be?
Cara Eckhardt:
I don't know. If I was a piece of candy? I mean, I don't know. What would you be? Okay, if you weren't going to be a piece of candy, what would you be?
Lisa Bodnar:
I feel like maybe a Mike and Ike.
Cara Eckhardt:
[inaudible 00:21:35] because?
Lisa Bodnar:
Because they're fruity and fun and different colors.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think this is why we're friends, because what is the thing that's like a Mike and Ike but cinnamon? A Red Hot.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes, I was going to say Red Hot for you. 100%. Red Hot.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. 100% Red Hot. I'm red, I'm chewy, I'm sticky, I'm loud. Yeah. Red hot.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. You are like fire in the mouth.
Cara Eckhardt:
Feisty. Yeah. I don't know about that, but sure, I'll take it.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay, lisa Bodnar.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes?
Cara Eckhardt:
Why don't you like pets?
Lisa Bodnar:
There are many reasons. Let me enumerate them. Number one, I am allergic to pets.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes. This I know. Can we just talk for a minute how you signed up for a randomized control trial when we were in graduate school together, and it was a drug trial for some kind of allergy drug, which was placebo controlled, which is kind of weird to think about now. Why weren't they testing it against standing allergy medications? But you were like, "I'm curious whether I'm on a placebo or not. I'll come over to your house." You pet my cat, then two minutes you just had liquids pouring out of every facial orifice. You were like, "I'm on the fucking placebo."
Lisa Bodnar:
They had this sheet that I had to fill out, where I had to say itchy eyes. I had to rate it from one to five, five being the worst. So I was like, itchy eyes, five. Itchy nose, five. Itchy throat, five. Stuffy nose, five. I remember Steve said to me, "Why don't you quit this? You are miserable." I was going for a run in the mornings and coming back and just being just a snot head.
Cara Eckhardt:
Sneezing. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I couldn't recover the entire day. It was 8:00 PM, I'd finally recover.
Cara Eckhardt:
Because you needed allergy medicine.
Lisa Bodnar:
I needed allergy medicine. It was the peak of my worst allergies ever. I was like, "I will not be lost to follow-up." Anyway, we were talking about pets.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Number one, I'm allergic to pets.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
Number two, I don't need another thing to try to keep alive.
Cara Eckhardt:
There you go.
Lisa Bodnar:
I vowed when my children got out of diapers that I would never clean up anyone's poop again in my life. I just won't do it.
Lisa Bodnar:
If Cara of today could have a short phone call with Cara when she became a new mother, what would you, Cara of today, tell her?
Cara Eckhardt:
So many things.
Lisa Bodnar:
I know.
Cara Eckhardt:
So many things. I would say, "You don't need all of that shit that people told you you needed." Yes. I would say, "Trust your intuition. It's usually going to be right. Just love your kid and just celebrate who they are. And they're going to show you who they are, and be excited to meet them and get to know them and then help them run with that."
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think also I would tell my former self, "Continue to honor yourself, as much as you are interested in nurturing and honoring your kid. I think it's really important to keep hold of yourself, and also to show your kids that it's important to keep hold of yourself. And never feel guilty about that." There's a lot of shame built into motherhood, and people concerned with being selfish or being this or being that. Just be your best you and help your kid be their best them and you'll be good.
Cara Eckhardt:
(singing)
Cara Eckhardt:
On Sesame street...
Lisa Bodnar:
I was a big Sesame Street lover as kid.
Cara Eckhardt:
Which character do you most identify with?
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, Grover.
Cara Eckhardt:
Grover.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, Grover.
Cara Eckhardt:
Tell me more.
Lisa Bodnar:
Grover has defined himself as cute, furry, and lovable, I think.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah. I think that's right.
Lisa Bodnar:
And I'm cute. I mean sometimes I'm furry, and lovable. He's just goofy.
Cara Eckhardt:
He's goofy.
Lisa Bodnar:
He's completely ridiculous.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
He does that whole persona with Super Grover. Did you ever read any of the Grover books?
Cara Eckhardt:
Well, I did have The Monster at the End of the Book. That was the best. That was the best Grover book. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes! I loved The Monster at the End of This Book.
Cara Eckhardt:
You know who I think I would be? I think I would be The Count, because you get to wear a dramatic costume, which I would like. I always love a dramatic costume. I mean, he's just over the top excited. Like, "Muahhaha, three. Ha ha ha." As long as I get to wear that cape with the high neck and be loud and over the top, I'm there. I'm here for that. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
When he talks, doesn't it cause lightening and thunder to happen?
Cara Eckhardt:
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I am 100% The Count.
Lisa Bodnar:
He does, right?
Cara Eckhardt:
It's kind of nerdy. It even has an epi element to it. I really feel like this is who I'm supposed to be.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. He's so quantitative.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah, he is. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
If you were in the circus, what would your act be?
Cara Eckhardt:
Oh God, this is 100% easy to answer. 100% I want to be with the big cats. With the tigers. I don't care what I have to do, I don't care what level of risk I'm taking. If I can hug a giant tiger, my life is made. Because, yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Cara Eckhardt:
I, for sure... We talked about pets before, but I'm a huge cat person. We have cougars here in Oregon and I'm always afraid that I'll run into one, because I fully, I think I would just be like, "Here kitty." I would just be like, "Hello my love. Let me pet you." I don't even think I would be scared.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. If you were a Disney villain, who would you be?
Lisa Bodnar:
I hate Disney, but...
Cara Eckhardt:
But if I were going to be a Disney, I'd rather be a villain.
Lisa Bodnar:
Totally. I would be Ursula from The Little Mermaid. That lady is a fucking bad-ass. She is like a drag queen first of all. Who doesn't want to be a drag queen?
Cara Eckhardt:
She's purple.
Lisa Bodnar:
She is purple, number one.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
She has this amazing punky, white, short haircut. She's got some bad-ass eyeshadow on. I mean, she is made up. She has red fingernails painted. Who would you be?
Cara Eckhardt:
I'm going with Maleficent. She's got a great outfit. She seems very confident. She has fire. She has birds who listen to her. I always want that about the dumb heroines in Disney, but I don't want to be one of them. I would like to have birds who do my bidding, though. So yeah, 100% of Maleficent. I'm going Maleficent.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. What is the app you use most on your phone?
Cara Eckhardt:
I think the boring one is my alarm, because I don't remember anything anymore and so I just have alarms set.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh right. You set like five alarms a day.
Cara Eckhardt:
I have like 29 alarms. I use a lot of flamenco apps-
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh fun.
Cara Eckhardt:
That help you keep time and have different clapping rhythms and stuff in the background.
Lisa Bodnar:
Mine, I think number one is Twitter. Number two, is the texting app. The messages. You don't message enough, Cara, to say that that's even yours.
Cara Eckhardt:
Text enough.
Lisa Bodnar:
You're not a good enough text... I'm sorry.
Cara Eckhardt:
I know. I'm not a huge... I know, I know.
Lisa Bodnar:
If I could tell you one complaint about our friendship, it's that. That I really need you to work on this for me.
Cara Eckhardt:
This is the Cara suggestion box. Taking suggestions now.
Lisa Bodnar:
Right.
Cara Eckhardt:
I always have my phone off. I always have the volume off. I spend at least 80% of every day not knowing where my phone is and sort of wandering around, asking people if they've seen it.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. But also, you will read a text and then just be like, "Ha ha ha." Then you never reply. Then the next time I talk to you, I'm like, "I don't know. Did you see that super funny thing that I sent?" You're like, "Oh yes, I laughed for nine years." I was like, "Okay. You didn't even write anything back."
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. I'm going to do better. I'm gong to do better, Lisa.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Cara Eckhardt:
I want to give that to you.
Lisa Bodnar:
I think it's those two things. I think I've become actually pretty obsessed with the New York times Crossword.
Cara Eckhardt:
Oh, I know, me too. I do the New York Times Crossword. I do the New York Times Mini Crossword.
Lisa Bodnar:
It's so good.
Cara Eckhardt:
The mini crossword, the daily mini, you can do that shit in like one minute.
Lisa Bodnar:
Well, if you're good at it.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I can't do it in a minute. I'm just a beginner.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I need the kid's version right now. What I've learned is that larva is an answer on almost every puzzle. It is.
Cara Eckhardt:
When in doubt, just enter larva. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. If you won a million dollars, you were given a million dollars, what is the first superficial...? I mean, you could be like, I'm going to pay off my mortgage and pay for kids' college or whatever. None of that shit. I want to know the first fun, superficial, not necessary thing you would do with your money.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. I would throw a huge party in a great location, and I would pay to fly all the people who matter to me. A lot of them. We're talking like second tier people. Third tier, maybe.
Cara Eckhardt:
All of them.
Lisa Bodnar:
All of them. It would be like a four day extravaganza.
Cara Eckhardt:
I am so up for that. I want to help you plan that. I'm like, yes, my mind is already thinking of all that we could do. Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
My God, wouldn't that be so much fun?
Cara Eckhardt:
I would love...
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
Someone should to pay us to do that.
Lisa Bodnar:
I know, right?
Cara Eckhardt:
Someone should give us a million dollars just because it would be such a bad-ass party.
Lisa Bodnar:
But it'll be better than Fire Fest.
Cara Eckhardt:
Well, that wouldn't that much, would it?
Lisa Bodnar:
But we still need to do all the things that Fire Fest did. We need to make an Instagram. We need to claim that all of these celebrities are going to be there. We need to go there and make a promo video. We do not include... So Fire Fest, they included all of these...
Cara Eckhardt:
Wait, did you watch this documentary?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes. totally.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay, I want to watch this. I need to watch this so I can... Yeah. Okay.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. You need to watch the documentary. So this promo video where they flew to whatever island they were in, and they had all of these models that they paid to frolic on a boat and pretend they were playing beach ball and whatever. All they did was like post these fucking videos. So our videos would be silly games.
Cara Eckhardt:
Silly games.
Lisa Bodnar:
You know? It would be like, here's us dancing to 80s music and nerd things, like nerdy fun things.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay, okay. I think, you know how we talk about when we're able to travel again that we're going to go on a vacation together?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cara Eckhardt:
I think that we should make a promo video for our next vacation on vacation number one so that we can get senders. We only have to pay for one location and then it'll just snowball because it'll be so funny and fun that people will be like, "I need more Lisa and Cara weird vacationing videos in my life." I'll be like, "Pay for our vacation and you shall have them."
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh my God. We can get people to pay for this, Cara.
Cara Eckhardt:
Oh, 100%. I'm not always right, but always certain. 100% done deal. We're just going to go and every opportunity that shows up on this trip, we're going to say yes and we're going to put it on Instagram.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes. Say yes.
Cara Eckhardt:
Always say yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes, and.
Cara Eckhardt:
Yes, and.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes, and. I'm already picturing it.
Cara Eckhardt:
I'm 100% picturing it. I'm already thinking of names for our Instagram channel. So stay tuned, folks.
Lisa Bodnar:
It isn't a channel, Cara.
Cara Eckhardt:
Whatever. I think, you know, this [crosstalk 00:33:21].
Lisa Bodnar:
It isn't a channel. Bertha, Bertha Hidalgo, she is a fucking social media influencer. We need to get her on.
Cara Eckhardt:
There you go. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. [crosstalk 00:33:28] Okay, so we're going to go to Bertha Hidalgo. Hi, Bertha. I don't know you, but we're coming. Coming for you.
Lisa Bodnar:
We're coming
Cara Eckhardt:
We're going to learn the ways, and then we're going to go.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Cara Eckhardt:
You and I, we're going to go.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Cara Eckhardt:
It's happening.
Lisa Bodnar:
Let's do that.
Cara Eckhardt:
Stay tuned. Post-COVID.
Lisa Bodnar:
Fire Fest.
Cara Eckhardt:
Fire...
Lisa Bodnar:
This was super fun, of course.
Cara Eckhardt:
I missed you. That was really fun.
Lisa Bodnar:
Miss you, too.
Cara Eckhardt:
Okay. See you later, alligator.
Cara Eckhardt:
(singing)
Lisa Bodnar:
By the way, have you been watching The Crown?
Cara Eckhardt:
I've totally been watching The Crown and there's two episodes left. We've watched-
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, you're farther than I am.
Cara Eckhardt:
Where they were playing whatever that dumb game was, fiddle, faddle, shittle, shuttle, ship, sheep, or whatever. I was like, "What the fuck are you playing?"
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Two diddle diddle said five middle middles to [crosstalk 00:34:55] one biddle bottle.
Cara Eckhardt:
I totally-
Lisa Bodnar:
What?
Cara Eckhardt:
Looked it up afterwards. I was like, "Is that a real game?" It is. We're going to play that on our trip, on our Instagram feed.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wait, are you serious? That's a real game?
Cara Eckhardt:
It's a real game.
Lisa Bodnar:
What's it called?
Cara Eckhardt:
I don't know. Fiddle Faddle Boodle Bottle. I don't know.