Nur Zeinomar, PhD is a cancer epidemiologist who is an Instructor of Medicine in the Section of Cancer Epidemiology and Health Outcomes at Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey. She and I talk about how it does take a village to raise kids with two parents with demanding careers, and how she found that village in New York City. She also wanted to talk about her need for safe spaces to express her religion and culture, and her ultimate acceptance of her own unique qualities a Muslim Arab American. Nur tells me about her life as the default parent, her love of Syrian cooking, her "resting nice face", and much more!
Nur Zeinomar, PhD is a cancer epidemiologist who is an Instructor of Medicine in the Section of Cancer Epidemiology and Health Outcomes at Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey. She and I talk about how it does take a village to raise kids with two parents with demanding careers, and how she found that village in New York City. She also wanted to talk about her need for safe spaces to express her religion and culture, and her ultimate acceptance of her own unique qualities a Muslim Arab American. Nur tells me about her life as the default parent, her love of Syrian cooking, her "resting nice face", and much more!
Nur Zeinomar: The first three weeks of the kids being home, I was like, "Oh, the world is my oyster. I'm going to get so much done." I had this intricate schedule for them. I'm like, okay, no screen time. This hour you're going to be reading, this hour you're going to be, and then ... I even have a picture that I put on Insta, like, "Pandemic, day one." I even made my daughter, I was like, "Oh, start a Coronavirus journal." It kind of all went to Hell. Around week three, I was like, "You can have ten hours of screen time. Mommy needs to finish her post doc."
Lisa Bodnar: Hi everyone. Welcome to Shiny Epi People. I'm Lisa Bodnar. I'm really happy that you're here today. You can find our show on Instagram and Twitter at @shinyepipeople, where I post some other content. If you want to throw a couple of dollars my way, you can go on Patreon.com/ShinyEpiPeople. Thanks to the new Patrons, especially Eric Lofgren, who I am going to get on this show one day, even though he is an extreme introvert.
Today I'm speaking with Nur Neinomar. Nur earned her PhD in Epi and Biostats at the University of Albany School of Public Health. She completed post-doctoral work at Columbia University in the Mailman School of Public Health and the Irving Medical Center. Just recently, Nur joined Rutger's Cancer Institute of New Jersey as an Instructor of Medicine in the section of Cancer Epidemiology and Health Outcomes. Nur is interested in understanding the role of genetics, the environment, lifestyle factors, and their interplay on breast cancer etiology and prognosis.
Today Nur and I talk about how it does take a village to raise kids with two parents with demanding careers, and how she found that village in New York City. She also wanted to talk about her need for safe spaces to express her religion and culture, and her ultimate acceptance of her own unique qualities as a Muslim Arab American. As you'll hear from this conversation, Nur is an absolute delight, and so engaging. I hope you enjoy this chat.
Nur Zeinomar: It's so nice to meet you.
Lisa Bodnar: It's great to meet you. Your smile is brightening my room, and you're not even here.
Nur Zeinomar: Oh, thank you. My name means "light" in Arabic, so that's funny that you said that.
Lisa Bodnar: Does it? Thank you for making time.
Nur Zeinomar: It's so nice to meet you, although I did see your talk about pregnancy. I don't do any of the research.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: But pregnancy weight gain, I went there for personal reasons, because I had gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay. Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: And my doctor was not concerned. I'm like, "I want to go see what the experts think."
Lisa Bodnar: Okay.
Nur Zeinomar: So I learned a lot, and then I was like, "I guess I still gained too much weight." But it was such an interesting talk, I do remember.
Lisa Bodnar: Oh, well thank you.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar: That's really nice of you.
Nur Zeinomar: I actually tried to steal one of the lunch sandwiches. The person that was helping, put together the talk, he was amazing, I love him. He saw me, and he was like, "Actually those are for the students. And you're not a ... you can go to the lunch with students, if you want, with her, but you need to leave." So I got so embarrassed. I was running out of there, because I was like, I can't see him. And then they weren't even good sandwiches. Just had to share that.
Lisa Bodnar: You probably don't remember this. There was a woman there who has been in the field for a really long time.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: She was totally heckling me [crosstalk].
Nur Zeinomar: I actually remember that, because I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so happy this is not me."
Lisa Bodnar: Then she was just challenging every single thing that I said.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes. I remember that.
Lisa Bodnar: It's literally seared into my brain, how uncomfortable it felt.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar: She was just like, "Excuse me. Everyone in the room should know that I'm the expert."
Nur Zeinomar: Yes. That's exactly what it was. I was mortified for you in the back, I was mortified for me in the back after trying to steal a sandwich. And I was learning about all the weight that I gained in pregnancy, but it was a great talk.
Lisa Bodnar: Thank you. You have a pretty interesting path about how you got to where you are. You have a very busy partner, and you have kids. It sounds to me like you're the default parent. How does that all work?
Nur Zeinomar: We both have super demanding jobs. It's just a different nature. Because he's a medical professional, he needs to be in a hospital to be able to do his job, and I'm at my computer 24/7. When we had children, it kind of just made sense that he wouldn't be the parent responsible for things like pick-up, or drop-off, or daycare emergencies, because he just couldn't run and go if there's a patient on the table bleeding.
Lisa Bodnar: Sure.
Nur Zeinomar: But I can pause writing, as annoying and disruptive as it is. I, like you said, became the default parent, but I think the most important lesson that I learned, and this is going to sound so cliché, is that it takes a village.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: When I moved to New York City, I literally knew zero people. I learned quickly that I needed to create my own village, and define what that meant for me.
Lisa Bodnar: That's great.
Nur Zeinomar: I kind of had a mentor, a New York City mentor, and it ended up being my daughter's pre-school director.
Lisa Bodnar: That's amazing.
Nur Zeinomar: I would call her, and I would cry on the phone.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: So she actually ended up connecting me to lots of other parents. We ended up having this great network, and we kind of leaned on each other emotionally and logistically. I guess an example of when the village really came to my rescue-
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: -is, I was on a plane. My babysitter never showed up, and it's five o'clock, and the place is closed, and they call me, and they're like, "Can you call your husband? Because he's not answering." He's scrubbed.
Lisa Bodnar: Right.
Nur Zeinomar: He's in the middle of his surgery, he cannot leave. I have this network of back-up babysitters, I called both of them, and they, of course, why would they be able to go?
Lisa Bodnar: At a moment's notice.
Nur Zeinomar: At a moment's notice.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I ended up calling this mom from the village, like, "Can you pick up my daughter?"
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: She sent her wife, who picked her up, who kept my daughter safe until my husband was able. I think he didn't end up going to their house until maybe ten or eleven.
Lisa Bodnar: Wow.
Nur Zeinomar: So I guess that's the most challenging part for me, is this feeling that I need to balance all of it alone most of the time. The rewarding part, like how close I got to my children, and then also, not going to lie, my time off. When my husband is not at the hospital, and he's not on-call, he's on-call for the children. He is with them 24/7, I do nothing, and that's kind of how we co-parent, and how we kind of ... I don't want to say the word "equal" but how we kind of balance it out for us.
Lisa Bodnar: Yes.
Nur Zeinomar: That's our balance, is parenting duties. That's when I have my time off, and I just go on dates with myself, and do things for myself.
Lisa Bodnar: When I was married, this is one of the things that I found really challenging. This revolving door parenting, which was like, as soon as you come home, I leave.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah. That's actually something I'll be honest, we struggle with. Pre-pandemic we have a schedule of when we go on our own date nights, or we carve out once a year we'll go somewhere just us. You know? Well, no. Not just me and him. Because my mom won't keep my kids anymore.
Lisa Bodnar: Why?
Nur Zeinomar: She's like, "Your kids are crazy. I can't do this anymore." She was really great, because during my dissertation she did keep Dania for five months while I wrote the dissertation. She kind of feels like her time, she's put in.
Lisa Bodnar: Yes. I know that.
Nur Zeinomar: It is challenging, and it's not all roses. There's ups and downs.
Lisa Bodnar: Sure.
Nur Zeinomar: It's hard. Sometimes both of us have these resentful moments-
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: -of the other's job.
Lisa Bodnar: Absolutely.
Nur Zeinomar: Just to be completely honest. I'm not like, "Oh, this is amazing." No. We just have to keep lines of communication open.
Lisa Bodnar: How did you set up your village?
Nur Zeinomar: It took me a while to figure out that I needed a village. I would say my daughter was five. I was falling apart at this point.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I actually took a year off in-between my PhD and my postdoc, because I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom, because I didn't think it was doable. Then I was like, I don't want to do this. It was kind of like the NYC mentor that kind of told me, "You need to put yourself out there." For me it wasn't that hard, because I'm a huge extrovert.
Lisa Bodnar: No.
Nur Zeinomar: [crosstalk]
Lisa Bodnar: I could never tell.
Nur Zeinomar: For me, the initial introductions, though, because I knew nobody in New York.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: And I didn't want to come off as dumb, or whatever. There's that. And then the thing is, you can't just have one village. You need to have different groups of friends, because sometimes, the village is busy. In New York, over the five and a half years that I was there, I ended up having so many different groups of friends. My best friend that I ended up making in New York, I actually met on the bus.
Lisa Bodnar: Oh, I love that.
Nur Zeinomar: She ended up being my neighbor. Also a faculty at Columbia, by chance.
Lisa Bodnar: Wow.
Nur Zeinomar: Also struggling, also with a busy partner. You know, we have so many commonalities. Our kids went to the same school. I actually called her on my birthday this weekend, and I'm like, "I need you here." And she's like, "Yeah, I'm not coming." But you know. I miss her so much. So she was part of it, but it's kind of like putting yourself out there, which is so hard for so many people.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: If you can't do it in the beginning, which I couldn't in New York, is finding somebody that will help make those connections. Another person in my village, the way that I found her was through camp. My daughter's summer camp. She left her number in my daughter's backpack.
Lisa Bodnar: Aww.
Nur Zeinomar: Anybody else wouldn't have called it, but I'm like, whatever.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I like this girl, because this is what I would do.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah, me too.
Nur Zeinomar: So I called her, and we became best friends.
Lisa Bodnar: Yes.
Nur Zeinomar: You know? And it's work. It's a process. Everybody is kind of struggling like you are.
Lisa Bodnar: One of the things that you wanted to talk about was how you navigate spaces where you're the only visible Muslim Arab.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar: What did you want to share about that with listeners?
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah. I think this really just relates to a theme that I've heard on this podcast, and something that, it really goes back to creating safe spaces where everyone is comfortable being themselves. That's why representation is so important. There's so many podcast guests that you had that talked about this, but it was Will's episode on Shiny Epi People that really resonated with me in that sense. This idea of having to navigate spaces that really just maybe weren't made for you.
One of the things in his story was when he talked about walking into a party and being the only same sex. Every party that I go to, like we had to go to this fancy gala. There's like thousands of people, I was the only one with hijab in the room. I remember one of the people saw me being really nervous in the mirror, and he's like, "Listen, I know it's hard to be different, and that you think that you don't belong here, but you look beautiful, and don't worry about what these people think." It's just this idea, like that really resonated with me, because I feel sometimes guilty being like, "Nobody cares that you're in a hijab, Nur. Nobody cares. Just let it go." But then he kind of validated my experience.
Lisa Bodnar: Absolutely.
Nur Zeinomar: Because it's like we all have our things. For some of us, it's our religion. For some of us it's something unrelated that nobody knows about. I think for Muslims in particular, there are so many different examples that I can talk about throughout the years.
A small example, particularly for Muslims, is the fact that many practicing Muslims pray five times a day. It's a little complicated, because our prayers are not, they don't follow a calendar time, and the time is very day by day, and season to season. They really need to be done within a certain timeframe. For me, literally navigating a space, and up until this point really just having a shared office, is that I'm always scoping out places to pray, and not miss the prayer time. It's really important to me, so I plan my day around it.
In the summer it's super simple, because the days are long, but in the winter, it gets more complicated because the days are short, and I end up doing three to five of my prayers at work. I've actually prayed in lots of crazy places. Empty classrooms, stairwells. Some buildings have prayer spaces, some don't, but sometimes even if they have a prayer space, it's not convenient if you have back to back meetings to run in-between.
Lisa Bodnar: Sure.
Nur Zeinomar: Especially in the winter. Again, that's why I feel like representation is important. Not particularly for prayer, but because it creates this environment where you can feel safe to ask for the things that you need and not be seen as weird, or whatever, or needy. You know what I mean? You feel safe.
So for me, one summer this really brought me a lot of joy is, we had a summer student in one of the summers of my postdoc. She also prayed. She sought me out privately because I was a visibly identifiable Muslim woman because of my hijab, and she asked me where she could get her prayer in. The hijab, for her, was this tangible sign of allyship, if you will, and feeling comfortable, and being able to bring her whole self to work and not feel like she's being weird or she's asking for special accommodations or anything like that.
Just hearing Will talk about it, and I'm like, it's okay to talk about this stuff, and it's not just okay, it's courageous, it's important, and I appreciated it so much. It's like, oh, we're all human, and it's okay.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: Nobody is going to be like, "Here's this whiny, [phoenetic hi-jab-ee]." I also recognize I'm white passing. People always think I'm white. Also sitting with my own privilege, so he said something about that, too. He said, "I'm privileged as a white man." And I'm like, "Yes, I'm also privileged as a white passing Arab." In any moment, I can take off my scarf, I would just blend in. My friends that are Black Muslim Americans, they don't have that privilege, so also hearing that aspect of it is like recognizing your privilege, recognizing there's parts of this that are hard about your identity. Yeah, it was just really validating.
Lisa Bodnar: Nur, when you share your story, what do you hope is the consequence of that?
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah, no, I hope there is just more kindness and understanding for people that may not look like you, may not worship, or find peace in the world, because really that's what I think religion's about. Compassion for different struggles, but also recognizing that we're all human. We all want the same things, really, not just judging a book by its cover. I am Muslim, I am Arab American, but I'm also an Epidemiologist. I'm also here to do science, and I hope that I can bring my whole self to work.
Lisa Bodnar: Thank you for sharing that.
Nur Zeinomar: Thank you. The older you get, not to curse, but less of F's you give.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: So I'm like, "You know what? This is who I am." I'm Muslim, also Arab American. I'm proud of that. I'm not suppressing any part of myself anymore. Before, I kind of, especially when I was in college, trying to prove myself, like, "Hey, I'm just like you guys."
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: But now I'm like, "You know what, I'm different." And that's okay, and that's what makes me great. You know? That's why I feel really comfortable talking about it, because of where I am in my life.
Lisa Bodnar: Nur, what do you do to keep yourself sane amidst all of this? You talked about prayer being really important. What else do you do?
Nur Zeinomar: I love cooking Syrian dishes. My parents are from Damascus, Syria. They came here before I was born, and I love cooking Syrian dishes because it connects me to happier times of my summers in Damascus before the war in Syria. I just feel connected to my ancestors, and all my relatives that I didn't get to really know, because I grew up in the U.S., when I'm cooking. I have to say, though, I'm getting a little crazy about it, and I'm turning into my Syrian grandmother.
Lisa Bodnar: What is she crazy about?
Nur Zeinomar: Okay, in both, actually, of my grandmother's houses, they have an extra separate freezer that they have all the extra stuff that they need for cooking. So, they can whip up an amazing Syrian meal in any season, any time. When we were in New York, we had a 900 square foot apartment, and I looked up freezers, and I told my husband, "We're buying an extra freezer." I was like, "We will put a blanket over it, and you won't see it." He vetoed it, really-
Lisa Bodnar: Did he?
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay. Good for him.
Nur Zeinomar: So I'm trying to break him in now, but, yeah. I love Syrian cooking. I also love discovering Syrian restaurants. We just moved to New Jersey, and I found this Syrian take-out place. I went and ordered take-out from there, and it was incredible, and the woman ended up calling me the next day. She's like, "I don't have a lot of Syrians that come in."
Lisa Bodnar: Aww.
Nur Zeinomar: "But the fact that you love my food, is like-" I was like, "What? I'm not a restaurant critic." She found my number, because it was through GrubHub or something. She called me, and she was like, "You made my day."
Lisa Bodnar: Aww. Oh, she wanted a connection.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah. She was like, "Come back. There's some kibbeh. Kibbeh - it's these little fried things, I don't know. She was like, "Kibbeh on the house honey, just come back and have coffee."
Lisa Bodnar: Aww.
Nur Zeinomar: I was like, "Yeah, I'll do that." And then I never went because pandemic.
Lisa Bodnar: Right. Show me your vaccination card, and then we can talk.
Nur Zeinomar: I love Syrian cooking, but I'm not going to get COVID for it.
Lisa Bodnar: What is your favorite dish to cook?
Nur Zeinomar: My favorite dish is this thing called Fattet Makdous, it's these stuffed eggplants, and then they're layered with sauce and a yogurt.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay.
Nur Zeinomar: And then over crunchy pita bread, and then have pine nuts and parsley on top. I do that every once in a while. There's something called Sayadieh, it's basically just a fish rice pilaf. I also love, I make mulukhiyah once a week, which is also not a dish that's just Syrian. Egyptians cook it too, other Arabs cook it. I do love grape leaves, but I'm too lazy to make them.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay.
Nur Zeinomar: It's not hard, it's labor intensive.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah. Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I told my husband that this weekend I might make grape leaves, just like my once a year grape leaves bake, if they will all help me roll them.
Lisa Bodnar: Oh, wow.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah. There's a special roll, and again, so many different types of Arabs have grape leaves.
Lisa Bodnar: Nur, what's your wake-up ritual?
Nur Zeinomar: I wake up. I drink six cups of coffee.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay, hold on. You, on coffee. What is you not on coffee?
Nur Zeinomar: Don't talk to me if I don't have coffee.
Lisa Bodnar: Really? You, wait. You don't want to be talked to?
Nur Zeinomar: It's just the duller version of this. I blame my grandmother, because I've been obsessed with coffee since I was little, because she used to take these little tea biscuits and dip them in Arabic coffee, which is kind of the same thing as Turkish coffee. That really intense coffee. Dip them, and then give them to me when I was like, three, four, five.
Lisa Bodnar: Wow.
Nur Zeinomar: I was raised on coffee. That's probably why I'm not tall.
Lisa Bodnar: Why you're not tall?
Nur Zeinomar: I'm just kidding.
Lisa Bodnar: It stunted your growth?
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah, that's my wake-up ritual. I'm obsessed with coffee.
Lisa Bodnar: What's an unusual compliment you receive often?
Nur Zeinomar: My friends all tell me that I have resting nice face. It's really a blessing and a curse. Both strangers and acquaintances divulge the most personal information to me.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay. Simply because you're just sitting there with a pleasant look on your face?
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah. I'm just like, "Oh god. My resting nice face struck again." The thing is, is I'm so extroverted, so I'm here for it. I love hearing people's stories, I feel like everyone has a story, and they just want to share it, and that's how we're human.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: But sometimes I just cannot. It's too much. You're sharing-
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: You're oversharing.
Lisa Bodnar: When you have the resting nice face, are you also making eye contact? Is that part of the problem?
Nur Zeinomar: I think that's what one of my friends told me. She's like, "You just make too much eye contact." I'm like, "I can't help it."
Lisa Bodnar: So, my New Year's resolution, is to stop making so much eye contact.
Nur Zeinomar: But I'm just so curious.
Lisa Bodnar: I hear you.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah, because I often, if I'm driving, I'll look in the rear view mirror and see myself. I'm like, "My god. I look so mean right now." I don't feel mean, but boy do I look mean.
Nur Zeinomar: Aww, no. I don't think you ever look mean.
Lisa Bodnar: I do. I look super mean. COVID uniform?
Nur Zeinomar: You know, everybody when COVID started was talking about soft pants and hard pants?
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I have been wearing soft pants my whole life. Ever since I became a mom, I've been in yoga pants, or some sort of-
Lisa Bodnar: Okay.
Nur Zeinomar: -soft pants.
Lisa Bodnar: I have these, whatever, yoga pants.
Nur Zeinomar: I love it.
Lisa Bodnar: That I would literally never wear outside of my house. They're way too tight. I have them rolled down, like the waist band, because they hurt my stomach. PC or Mac?
Nur Zeinomar: PC.
Lisa Bodnar: Me too. But aren't you kind of embarrassed by it?
Nur Zeinomar: I am.
Lisa Bodnar: I am.
Nur Zeinomar: I am, I am.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: Especially if somebody is using a Linux server, and they're like, "Oh. You have a Windows?" I did a project with some bioinformatics people, and they're all Mac users.
Lisa Bodnar: Yeah.
Nur Zeinomar: I'm like, "Can you teach me how to get on the server?"
Lisa Bodnar: Is your office messy?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: That's the only acceptable answer.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes, and I don't have enough filing cabinets yet, so I just have stacks of different papers and stuff on the floor. But I did make sure to have some-
Lisa Bodnar: To put them behind you. I love that.
Nur Zeinomar: Wait, I'll show you.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay. Nur. Your room is trashed.
Nur Zeinomar: It's trashed.
Lisa Bodnar: Turn it again. I want to see all the items.
Nur Zeinomar: How can I live like this?
Lisa Bodnar: Oh my gosh.
Nur Zeinomar: So we did move in five weeks ago.
Lisa Bodnar: Oh, okay.
Nur Zeinomar: Okay. But also the boxes were there for maybe three or four weeks, and I was like, at what point is it no longer socially acceptable to keep telling everyone I work with, "Oh yeah, I'm still unpacking."
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have your phone nearby?
Nur Zeinomar: I do.
Lisa Bodnar: I'm going to ask you which of these things you have on your phone. Okay?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: The Instagram app?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: A weather app?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Is your ringtone a song?
Nur Zeinomar: No.
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a picture of a pet?
Nur Zeinomar: I don't have any pets.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah, I have picture of children.
Lisa Bodnar: We don't care.
Nur Zeinomar: You're like, "I didn't ask that."
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a selfie?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a contact with the name Z? Oh my god, your last name is Z.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes. I do. All of my family.
Lisa Bodnar: Is your battery life greater than 10 percent?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a to-do list on your phone?
Nur Zeinomar: No. I'm like, "No."
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a fitness app?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Do you have a picture as your screen lock?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes, but my screen lock, it's half ...
Lisa Bodnar: Oh my god. Can I please take a screenshot of that?
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Because it's incredible.
Nur Zeinomar: Oh my god.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay, hold it up.
Nur Zeinomar: I never centered the photo.
Lisa Bodnar: You can see like, nothing, and then half your daughter's face and body. That's it. Did you miss a call during the recording right now?
Nur Zeinomar: Wait, recents. No.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay, I did.
Nur Zeinomar: Oh, I'm sorry.
Lisa Bodnar: I chose you. It's okay. Nur, it was so lovely to meet you.
Nur Zeinomar: Oh my god. So lovely. I hope we can meet in person one day.
Lisa Bodnar: I can see it by your resting nice face. And now I want to tell you all my secrets.
Nur Zeinomar: Yes.
Lisa Bodnar: Costco is amazing.
Nur Zeinomar: Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar: Okay? I only have been to it twice. We have a membership, but I had never gone to a Costco before I moved to New Jersey. The first time we went to Costco, my children were acting like they were in Disneyland. They were like, "This is amazing. We're so happy we moved to New Jersey."