Shiny Epi People
Shiny Epi People
Updates from Hoda Abdel Magid!
It is the final of the update episodes with guests from 2020! Today, you hear from the hilarious Hoda Abdel Magid. Hoda is currently in the second year of her postdoc. She tells me about resubmitting her K99-R00 application, hot yoga in a hijab, a setup date in Cairo that she didn't know was a setup, surfing, therapy (a fav topic of mine!), and more! You will LOL in this one. Please enjoy, and thank you for all of your support!
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I totally, I feel like I need to be real and just tell you what I just. Do you see the plant behind me?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. So, that's one of my plants that I got. We can talk about it. But I just switched the plants out, because the one that is on the floor, I'll just show you.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah, you just need to show it to me.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It is dying. It also doesn't look like it's happy. So, I totally just switch them out, and we're going to pretend like that is the one that I take care of properly.
Lisa Bodnar:
Are you concerned about that I'm going to judge your plant care abilities?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Duh.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hi everyone. Welcome back to Shiny Epi People. I'm Lisa Bodnar. I'm really happy that you're here today. I have more details about the exciting news I told you last week. So, I'm selling Shiny Epi t-shirts. And I'm working with a small business in Pittsburgh, that is a screen printing company called Commonwealth Press. Their employees are unionized, which is really cool and very hard to find. I've been to the print shop. And it's awesome. Dan, the owner is also awesome. I'm going to post some pictures of the print shop and Dan on social media. And I'm going to go there as soon as the shirts are being printed and take some video, which is going to be cool. And I'll post that too. The shirts will be on presale from October 4th through the 20th. And that means that from the fourth to the 20th, the online store will be open for your order.
Then on October 20th, the store will close, and the t-shirts will be printed and mailed out. The second week of November. I'm doing a pre-sale because it saves me a lot of money on the front end. I don't have to stock and pay for an inventory. But the downside of the pre-sale is that, if you want a shirt, you have to get that order in, in that 16 day window, or else you're out of luck. This also means that I can't show you the actual shirt, or model it, or have someone else model it, because I won't get mine until you get yours. But I used Commonwealth Press for a shirt that I had printed in the past. And I can tell you that the shirts are comfy, and they're true to size, and they're not boxy. I'm selling these shirts for $24, plus shipping. In the US, the shipping is about $4. They do ship internationally.
So, the people that have been asking me, Will they ship to Australia? Yes, they will ship to Australia. I don't know how much it's going to cost, but they will ship. I realize that this cost might prevent some of you from being able to buy a shirt. And I'm sorry. You could instead buy a hex sticker to show support for the show as an option. The details about the hex stickers that you can buy, are on my social media. My next episode, after today drops October 9th. It's the start of the second season, which means that the store will have been open for five days before I have a chance to remind you here that you can order one. If you want to be reminded sooner, then follow me on Instagram or Twitter at Shiny Epi People.
There, I will post the link on October 4th. Then October 9th, when season two starts, I will be here to share the link. You can also email me anytime, and I'll send you the link on or after October 4th. I'm @Shinyepipeople@gmail.com. You can see the image of the shirts on my Twitter. It's pinned to my profile. Or on Instagram, where it is a story highlight on my profile page.
Last bit here. Patrons of the show at the $10 level, are going to receive a free t-shirt as a gift for their generosity. If you wish to become a patron at this level, either to increase your donation, if you're already a patron, or to join my Patreon, go to patreon.com/shinyepipeople. I've heard so many of you say, I keep forgetting to join your Patreon, but I really want to. So, here's your push to do that. Even if you don't want to join at the $10 level, all levels are welcome, including a dollar a month. Okay. Enough logistics. Onto today's show. Today is the last of the update episodes with guests from 2020. My guest is Hoda Abdel Majid. Go back and listen to her episode, if you haven't already. Because she tells such funny stories, and is so authentic and revealing. This conversation today will not disappoint. I hope you enjoy this chat
Hoda.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Hi. How are you? Okay so, I need to tell you. First of all, it's so awesome to see you. So Awesome.
Lisa Bodnar:
It really is. You as well. I miss you so much.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I miss you too.
Lisa Bodnar:
So, I need to tell everyone that, of all of these update episodes that I've done, you are the most prepared...
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It's so embarrassing.
Lisa Bodnar:
I'm not going to say all of it. I'm just going to say you are extraordinarily well prepared.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh my God.
Lisa Bodnar:
And I appreciate that. Because you know what? I'm at my most relaxed when my guest is so well prepared. [crosstalk 00:05:23] This is the easiest interview for me. This is the greatest. And you're easy to talk to. So, the [crosstalk 00:05:29].
Hoda Abdel Majid:
You had a...
Lisa Bodnar:
Long list.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So embarrassing for everyone listening. Because I literally...
Lisa Bodnar:
No, no, no. I think it's adorable.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I literally took out a notebook. I was like, I've got to write this down. There's just no other way to proceed. Got to talk about all the things that have happened that I need to update Lisa on. Because obviously she's concerned with every aspect of my life.
Lisa Bodnar:
I am. You know that. I am. I am. And although I will not be able to keep all of them in the update episode, I want to know all of them. And we'll edit some of them out. It's fine. It's fine. Okay. So, with regards to your list, I just need to tell you that you shouldn't feel embarrassed, because when I get together with friends, I think all of them who have PhDs, anytime I have a phone call with a friend who it's been a little while, or we get together in person, we make an agenda. I'm not even kidding.
We literally do. The days leading up to the get together, we're like, let's start. And so someone just starts, and then we copy, paste, and add.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I love it.
Lisa Bodnar:
And then we have the agenda out, when we're like, Okay. What are we going to touch on first? And then we just eliminate them, and...
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
... So, we don't miss anything. So, I relate. Like if you need to go to dinner or something, and you want to go at a place that you need to reserve or whatever, but if do that with my non-academic friends, I literally, they make me feel like I'm insane.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Really?
Lisa Bodnar:
Because it's just like, I want to plan ahead.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Because I'm not of the moment.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh, no.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. That's okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
You're too old for that. You can do that.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. All right, hun. Let's let's get through this list. I want to know some great updates in the world...
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So embarrassing. I will never live this down.
Lisa Bodnar:
... Of Hoda Abdel Majid.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh, my God.
Lisa Bodnar:
You look super pretty right now, by the way.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Thank you so... Oh, I got a new scarf.
Lisa Bodnar:
It's gorgeous.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I don't need a new scarf. I really don't. I don't. We just need to... And at some point, the statue of limitations, I'm like, I'm supporting the local businesses.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Really needs to... Really. I just don't know when that ends. But I'm supporting local businesses. Yay me!
Lisa Bodnar:
We're in a pandemic anyway.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Thank you.
Lisa Bodnar:
It looks great on you.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. So, tell me at work. What's happening in your postdoc world?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I submitted a grant, a K99-R00. That grant. Ugh. I mean...
Lisa Bodnar:
Ugh.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
... To the reviewers that are listening, please for God's sakes, give it to me.
Lisa Bodnar:
Was this the first submission?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It kind of. I mean I submitted a KO1 before. That wasn't discussed. So, at least this one was. And then I pivoted to the K99. So, at least this one was scored.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But let me tell you. Reviewer one, solid. Reviewer two, solid-ish. Reviewer three, apparently read something else.
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
We're talking about nice decent scores. And then reviewer three's like, your existence is questionable. And a part of that grant, any of those training grants, you have to outline how you're going to transition to independence, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
You have to outline how you're going to get a job. A faculty job is usually of interest, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So, reviewer one and two seemed to understand how I would try to get a job.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Reviewer three is like, So, how are you going to get a job? You didn't describe it. I'm like, Dude, there's no other way, except the jobs show up. I apply.
Lisa Bodnar:
Right.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I interview, if I'm lucky. Maybe I give a job talk. And then, maybe the stars align such that I can be faculty somewhere. Do you know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
How else can I do it? And anyway, it just seemed that he or she, or they, whoever read the application, very different dynamic. So, I'm trying to work on that resubmission for November.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. Cool.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And then, I'm on the job market, whatever that means.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. What does that mean?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It means applying to so many places.
Lisa Bodnar:
Really?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And getting rejections. And sometimes you get an occasional interview. You know what I mean? It's nice. I mean, I just had an interview this week, and I had a job talk a while back that I obviously didn't get the position for.
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But it was nice to at least have done the job talk once to have prepared, at least once and gotten that through.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And then it really taught me the practice is everything.
Lisa Bodnar:
You've been in that job now for over a year. And so, how's the productivity?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Actually over two years.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, over two years.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. So, that's actually something that was part of the K, and I'll just be really honest with you. That's something that, across the board, if there was one "weakness" that was noted, it was productivity. And that actually brings me to something that I think is so interesting in our fields, and in academia in general, how productivity is measured, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
With these standards, you got the papers and the grants, right? And it's not like I was sitting there twittling my thumbs, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I've been so freaking lucky to work on really awesome projects for our department, right? And as well as awesome projects for my own self and my own development. But at the end of the day, productivity's measured in these first author publications. It's not even co-authored publications, you know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So that's kind of what I'm working on right now. I've actually held off on starting my resubmission work, and kind of just focusing on trying to get a few papers out the door. Especially for those papers, I know everybody has these, but the papers that've literally... A paper that I've been working on since day one of my postdoc.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
That is the one that I am honestly ready to catapult out of this world. I am ready for it to be reviewed. And I'm ready to move on. Again, when we talked about mentorship last time, I think that that's something that's really important. Because in the past couple of months, ever since I got the score for the K99, I've held conversations with my mentors, and they were so freaking supportive. This is really where support shows up.
Because they were like, Hey, why don't you take the next couple months and just focus on knocking these papers out. The fact that they were on board with that, that's more than anything. So, it's been freaking amazing to have the summer to just work on the papers. So, hopefully they'll come out soon. And hopefully I won't get a review, or two, or three, or whatever.
Lisa Bodnar:
And then you just resubmit it?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Then you resubmit and resubmit until you get to seven journals. And you're like, Well, some dirt bag journalist did a fucking paper. I hate this paper so much. I don't even know what it's about anymore. I just keep sending it in. I don't change anything. I just put it back in, put it back in. Let's go lower.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. So, are you still living at your parents?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Yeah. I've upgraded from the garage, to this little tiny corner in the living room. That's where we are.
Lisa Bodnar:
How did you get everyone to leave you alone during this hour?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Well, half the family's not here. Half the family's in Egypt. But so-
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, they are?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Yeah. Growing up, I mean, I've gone every single year. Actually, the only year was the pandemic.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So we actually went earlier this year. It was safe. You know those couple of weeks where apparently things were safe?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Remember those?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. I was still wearing my mask. But at least things felt better. So, we visited my grandparents there. And then, half of us came back, and the other half decided they want to stay longer.
Lisa Bodnar:
So who stayed?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
The youngest Gen Z, and my dad are there right now. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
And why did your other Gen Z not stay?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh, because she... Oh, we're going to talk about this. Okay. Because she was like, I need to come back to surf.
Lisa Bodnar:
To surf?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
To surf. That was her thing, the whole pandemic. And she got me into it.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay, Hoda on a surfboard?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Probably motivated by my intentions, which were 95% because of the gear. I like the outfit that came with the wet suit. It came with a little hood, the booties, the gloves. It was-
Lisa Bodnar:
Did you have one that had a hijab with it?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh, so those ones weren't... It didn't come in my size. Please don't remind me, Lisa.
Lisa Bodnar:
Was it heartbreaking?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It was. But there was one, you could get a cap with it.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And I saw lot of the surfers wore those too. Guys and girls, because it protects their hair.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It's a hijabi friendly sport. That's what it is.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wait, tell me, why did you like the gear?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It was cute like workout clothes, but I don't know how to describe it. It felt like I was fashionable. And I'm literally the only one taking pictures. Everybody's like, what is wrong with you? because they're cause they're so cool. They can't be bothered.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, right.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
They're so chill.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, I would've been right there with you. Like Ooh, pose this way. I want to see those slippers.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh wait, Lisa, there are no flippers.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, okay. Didn't you say that they were flippers.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
No booties. Booties.
Lisa Bodnar:
Booties.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
They're no flippers. That's a different thing.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wait, what are the booties? I thought you were-
Hoda Abdel Majid:
They're just with a flat, with just bare feet.
Well you could but the water is freaking freezing.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I guess I needed an excuse to get every item of clothing required.
Lisa Bodnar:
Why not?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But It took a few lessons. I mean, and I grew up swimming and playing water polo. So, swimming is not the issue.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It was not the issue for me at all. So, took a few lessons, yada, yada, and then, I finally swam with my sister one day in Santa Cruz. And I was just so scared of the board. It's the board that's scaring me. It's like it's falling on my head.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Do you know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. And coning you out.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Exactly. It happened to my sister. She needs to get a helmet, because God forbid, she be a reasonable person, and get out of the water. But anyway, so, I just called it quits for that day. And I was like, I'm just going to sit on this bench. And there was a older gentleman next to me. And I was dripping in a wetsuit. And I'm just sitting there. And my sister's like, If you're going to sit, you got to make yourself useful and take pictures. Take videos, because she wants to see herself. How she is.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So, I'm sitting next to this older dude, and he starts to talk to me. He's the nicest person. Apparently he was like kicked out of his house because they were cleaning the house, and his wife kicked him out. She was like, go somewhere else. I can't deal with you. And he was telling me all of this. He was like a retired doc. He must have been like 80 years old or something like that.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And he's retired. And he was telling me about surfing, and all of this stuff., And I just thought to myself, Yeah, this is me. My sister surfs while I sit here talking to the student about emergency medicine. The other day, she was like, I made some food. I made some food. And she was like, Oh my buddies in the water would really love this. Could you send a plate with me? Tomorrow, could I take a plate tomorrow whatever, when I go. And then, I got like a bunch of messages with her later on and saying, They all love the food that I made. So, my point is, this is my reputation.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I either put the food, or I talk to the people that are kicked out of their house while I take videos.
It's not the surfing.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. But have you gone and actually surfed?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
A little bit. I've caught one, maybe two waves. I'm perfectly happy. Swimming laps. Do you know what I mean? Oh, and there was these little boys, like they must have been eight or 10 years old. And they're just shredding the waves. And I'm like, This is so embarrassing. And I'm like, Way to go. And I'm clapping them like I'm their mother. And their mother literally just dropped them off to surf and pieced out, and I'm literally clapping for them and encouraging them. And it's just so sad.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. That feels like much more of a natural role for you.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Right? Exactly. Doesn't it.
Lisa Bodnar:
You're so nurturing. I feel like that's what it is.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Exactly.
Lisa Bodnar:
Other than running, what are you doing physically?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Hot yoga. Hot yoga.
Lisa Bodnar:
Hot yoga. I've never done hot yoga.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I love hot yoga. I've done it before the pandemic and stuff. But recently in the pandemic, when things opened up for a brief amount of time and stuff, I went and we had masks on. Okay. [crosstalk 00:18:07] quite the problem.
Lisa Bodnar:
Mask. And hot yoga.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I want you to imagine the room, the studio. And you know how people look in yoga. It's the cutest sport. It's so freaking dainty and cute. Okay. Anyway, so we're in the studio. The thermometer literally reads 110 degrees.
Lisa Bodnar:
That is so hot.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
It's hot. It's hot. And we're talking 60 minutes, 110 degrees.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
The thing is, it's just so funny. And no one's ever said anything, that in fact, they've been so freaking nice and really courteous, but you can imagine that I stick out, right? So, everybody kind of knows my name. And so, when we're in the studio and you're looking at the mirror and everything, and everybody's just in sports bras and really cute leggings. And I, don't get me wrong, I have really cute hijaby friendly workout clothes.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But the looks on their faces, it's so funny. No one's ever said anything. In fact they've just been nice. But the look on these people's faces when I'm in hot yoga, is two things. One, is like, Please do not faint. I do not want a scene. And the other look is like, as if they look at me and they're like, Do you know what you're wearing? It's very hot in here. I feel like it's just like I need to tell you that you're fully freaking clothed.
And I look, and one time this dude was so freaking nice. We all come out of the studio, and I'm wrapping my mat up or whatever. And he's like, Damn, that's badass, that you did that wearing your hijab.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And I'm like, Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you so much. I will forever do this for you. Damn, when people are kind, it's so nice.
Lisa Bodnar:
Boy, isn't it?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Do you know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
And do you also have to have long sleeves?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Long sleeve. And then, we're talking, for a week, there was no mask. And then for the next week, there was everything.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, my gosh.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And I don't have this little outfit on. I have like a sports hijab, but with the thinnest stuff. And yeah. I mean, I've gotten used to it at this point.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But it's not everybody that sees me has gotten used to it.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I really wanted to share that tweet that I saw that really landed with me.
Lisa Bodnar:
Jen Hester's exhaustion tweet.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. I love this. Let me just read it to you. It says, I'm realizing that I've been trying to recover from mental exhaustion with physical rest. And unfortunately it doesn't work that way. This was in June when she tweeted this out. But that landed for me so much.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Tell me about it.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Burnout is really real. And everybody's reached burnout at different parts during the pandemic, right? And I think for me, there were days where I would be really, really burned out, and I would just rest. You realize at some point that that's not what you need, right? You need to completely disconnect. You need to completely, completely shut your mind off.
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And so, I'm just honestly really grateful for the couple of weeks that I had in the summer, where I was able to just completely shut off. And I think it made things better for sure.
Lisa Bodnar:
Someone said this and I tweeted it. I couldn't remember who said it. But they said, Burnout is not a personal failure.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
And I feel like this is so important, because we give ourselves such a hard time. I don't know who hasn't experienced burnout in the past year and a half. And that it's not because you're doing something wrong.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
It's because we're in this environment that is promoting burnout, that I don't know how. It's unavoidable.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
And just sort of accepting that, I think is really important. Because otherwise you feel like shit.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
I don't have this down. I'm really been working on this. But I think it's really important to draw boundaries with your work. Because sometimes I'll be like, Oh, okay. Well, I could just work on this just for a few hours, right?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
And it's the weekend. It's like, No, I really need to shut it off. This might be TMI, but it's honestly something I'm working on in therapy.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
We're doing that. Literally, I've been working really hard in therapy, to the point where I had to text my therapist, Okay. I'm off my computer. Do you know what I mean?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I love that. Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
It's really, really hard for me. And it's been something that I've been trying to work on. And I think I'm doing better.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
That's really wonderful.
Lisa Bodnar:
Thanks.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Setting those boundaries is... Setting any boundary, and not just setting it, but holding it, is very hard.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Speaking of therapy, I was at my parents' house, when we were all at the beach together this summer, my sisters and their families. We watched the series called, Alone. Do you know the series?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
No.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. They take survivalists, real people who can survive anywhere, and they dump them in a space, this one was in Mongolia.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Lisa Bodnar:
And they're allowed to bring 10 things, and that's it. And whoever lasts the longest, wins half million dollars.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
We could never survive, but we are yelling things out at the TV. Like, Sam, why aren't you fishing? Brit over there is fishing, and he's doing great. Dude, you need the protein, stop eating that tree bark. Your shelter doesn't have moss in between the logs. All the air is going to come out. What are you doing? Come on, you should know this. So, my sister and I were sitting there, and we both were saying how we couldn't last more than a day. And we're like, imagine even being there for 30 days. Could you last 30 days? And my daughter said, Mom, you couldn't last 30 days because you couldn't be without your therapist that long.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh my God. Yes. I completely... Yes, for me, yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
I was like, Mira. I could survive without my therapist for a month. And then my sister said, Mira, she can't survive without her therapist, because part of the reason she needs her therapist is you.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh God.
Lisa Bodnar:
And so, if she was alone, that would eliminate all of her stress.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Is that true?
Lisa Bodnar:
Well, of course it is. I mean, there are three of them.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Thank God for therapy. Seriously, thank God.
Lisa Bodnar:
Thank God. What would I do? I would be a disaster.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I would. I mean, questionable whether or not I'm a disaster right now with, but I would. Yes, I definitely would be 100%.
Lisa Bodnar:
I would be a stressed, anxious, controlling, irritable person to be around.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yes.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's what I would look like. What would you look like without therapy?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Exactly like that.
Lisa Bodnar:
Really? Really?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
100%. Oh my God. 100%. Actually, it's just been so life changing to be in therapy. And I mean, hopefully one day I'll be able to get to the point where I can be a chill, carefree person.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Hopefully it's like one of those cool surfers, you know? But we are not there yet.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I used to think that, when people say, Oh, I'm in therapy. And I'm doing the work, and I'm working on myself, I used to think that that was the funniest and stupidest thing. And wow, I judged it so hard, Lisa.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
But literally, I'm telling you, my therapist is on my list of 10 things. I'd bring her support system, just to make sure that she's there.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. And you could go to therapy and not do the work, you know?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. That's the other thing. I've and told that I have to work on apologizing.
Lisa Bodnar:
No.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
That I shouldn't apologize too much for... if that... And I've actually done something similar. Where I'd be like, I just, something very, very similar. And then I apologize. And I was told, We're going to stop right there, and we're... Because guilt is something that I really have to work on. That's probably my a biggest test, right?
Lisa Bodnar:
Mm-hmm (affirmative) mm-hmm (affirmative).
Hoda Abdel Majid:
A lot of things might come from a place of feeling guilty, or feeling fearful, and knowing something that I have to work on. She was like, We're going to stop right there. And we're going to think about why you just said, you're sorry.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And then, we got to the place where I had to re-say what I was saying without saying sorry.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. And can you do it?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. I mean, I think I'm... I don't know that I can do it all the time, but it's definitely made me aware to that. Because she's right. I say it. I say these things out of guilt sometimes. Or I do certain things out of guilt. And it's just nice to be able to say no to an extra request at work, or something like whatever, whatever it is, to just really take care of yourself, you know?
Lisa Bodnar:
So good. I'm so proud of you. That's such hard work.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Thank you. Actually, one of my mentors was like, she was giving me advice. She was like, Okay, so you need to say no to things. But she was like, I want you to write it down on a poster right now, and put it on your screen, because you need to, every time something comes up that you want to do or take on, or somebody else wants you to do or take on, you need to say no. And then, I was like, Okay. Cut to our next one on one. And I was like, Okay. So, here's this thing that came up, and I just want to let you know, I'm going to think about it. And then I'm going to see whether or not I'm going to say... I'm going to think about it completely before I say yes or no.
She's like, No, that's not what you're going to do. You're going to say no now. Because you and I both know that this is going to stress you out. You should not do this.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I was like, Oh, you're right. I should just say no. So, yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's awesome.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
It takes practice. It really takes practice to realize that the world doesn't come crashing down on you when you say no to something.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
Are you doing any dating?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh my God.
Lisa Bodnar:
You're a single lady.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm a single. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
You don't like the online dating?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
No. So I was, while I was in Egypt and I was hanging out, a couple of friends from here actually were visiting the area. And on one of the last days, they were like, Oh, let's go have dinner in the Cairo Tower. Oh God. Which is, has a 360 rotating view of the city.
Lisa Bodnar:
All right.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Is fancy. So freaking fancy. Is one of, probably one of the most romantic places in the entire city. And so, I thought that I was just meeting these two friends who are married.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Because I'm working while I was in Egypt. No. There's no air quotes. I actually was working for the weeks that I was not. Because I was working. And so, I had to have my backpack with me everywhere that I went.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, God. Oh hell no.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
To have my computer. And you're not just carrying your computer, right? You're carry all the other freaking devices. And because internet is such crap in Egypt, I have to always also carry my hotspot internet.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And I have multiple of them, because again, it's really bad, and I need a specific type of connection for work. I promise there's a point to this. Anyway, so we go to the top, and I'm just already annoyed because security downstairs thought that I had a camera. I'm like, I don't have a camera. They were just giving me a hard time. And my computer was worth more than me at that point. You know what I mean? Just do whatever you want to the backpack, just don't touch my computer. You know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And so anyway, I go to the top, and I have this backpack, that's literally weighing me down.
Lisa Bodnar:
My gosh.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And it's not pretty. It's just not.
Lisa Bodnar:
Sure.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And these two are dressed to go to an evening ball. God. And they just looked really nice. And I love them. They're so close to my... I love those two friends. And anyway, so in walks our fourth member. Our fourth member. Okay. And I honestly can't tell you if this was a setup or not, or coincidentally. I just don't know. And I never want to talk about it again after this point.
Lisa Bodnar:
Just get it out of your system.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Exactly. So, it was just the four of us. You literally go on the table, has the word love in potpourri on the table. It's so tacky. The restaurant was otherwise really nice, but it was so tacky. And then, in walks this dude. He has a backpack too.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's so cute.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
You were meant to be.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And get this, he needs to take a meeting.
Lisa Bodnar:
No.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
He needs to take a meeting.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wait. When? What? During the meal?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Lisa Bodnar:
No. Oh my God.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So, cut to, and I will not-
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. Hold on. I need to step back.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I know. I know.
Lisa Bodnar:
When you saw this dude walk in, were you like, What the fuck? I'm being set up.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Well, I mean, I felt it. But at the same, no one confirmed anything until later, one of the friends was like, you know when someone talks you up in a specific way?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I'm like, he didn't ask you what I do. He didn't ask you. Please, don't say it's embarrassing for everybody.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
You know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And anyway-
Lisa Bodnar:
Were they doing things like, Hoda, tell blah, blah, blah, about your-
Hoda Abdel Majid:
One hundred percent.
Lisa Bodnar:
That's just so awkward.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I was like, Could you be any more obvious? It was just...
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
... And anyway, this dude, it was either he take the meeting in the restaurant, or he... We're pretty high up in the air. It takes a good solid 15 minutes just to go down. It's pretty intense. And so, and he was like, But I all also have to go to him because I have internet. I was like, Just don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. I'm like, I have internet.
Lisa Bodnar:
Here you go. He's like, Really?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
He looked at me, like I... Anyway, so I give him the internet, and cut to, we're having dinner. And there was a long story as to why he couldn't have the meeting at another table. But he had to have it at our table.
Lisa Bodnar:
No. I'm sorry, what?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
So we're literally... It's a long story. We don't need to get into it. But we were literally eating, and this dude is literally taking a meeting. And-
Lisa Bodnar:
Was he on Zoom?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
100%. And you know what?
Lisa Bodnar:
Are I kidding me?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I was nervous, because it was like an awkward situation. But you know what? This was a blessing in disguise, because it happen, and I was like F it. It's already awkward. So, I was just naturally myself, because I was like, it can't get any worse than this dude taking a meeting.
Lisa Bodnar:
Hey, this dude is having a Zoom.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And both of us with our backpacks, and not dressed properly to this place. In the most romantic place in this city.
Lisa Bodnar:
Wow.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Do you know what I mean?
Lisa Bodnar:
Wow.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I was like, F this. So, I just started eating. And you know when you're on like "a date", and you're like dainty with what you eat? I was like F that. I'm eating. I'm going to eat everything I want to eat. And it's going to be amazing.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And it was just a really nice time with friends. And got to know someone. Didn't go anywhere, but he was nice.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Shout out to that dinner. At least the food was good.
Lisa Bodnar:
Hoda, I'm so glad we could do this together.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh no, me too.
Lisa Bodnar:
Thank you for sharing all the stuff that you did. So much personal stuff, and so much fun stuff. You're so funny and open.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
This was so, so much fun. Seriously. You made my weekend. Thank you.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh, it made mine. I was looking forward to this for a long time.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Oh my God. Lisa. If you ever want to go to Egypt, I will show you-
Lisa Bodnar:
Will you take me?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
... All the... Oh my God. Lisa we will go.
Lisa Bodnar:
Will you take me?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
100%.
Lisa Bodnar:
Oh my gosh. I want to go.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
I will show you all the things. And by all the things, I mean all the food.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yes.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
And all the sight-seeing is freaking amazing. It's like, Oh, we can walk into these pyramids and see these high graphics on the wall, just like nobody's business?
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Fucking awesome.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Yeah. I would love it.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Okay. So it's planned. We're done. We're settled.
Lisa Bodnar:
Okay. Next Summer?
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Summer 2022. Yeah.
Lisa Bodnar:
All right. I want to do that.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
We'll have an agenda. Well, because we'll know exactly what we're going to do.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
We're going to plan.
Lisa Bodnar:
Yeah. Well, I'm totally there for that. Yeah.
Hoda Abdel Majid:
Yeah.
